I am designing again. I’ve had no shortage of ideas accumulating in corners of my brain and in various notebooks, but since the last year of the PhD pretty much sucked out most of the creative energy, time, and confidence that I had lying around, I haven’t been acting on many of them.
This past weekend I decided I had had enough of that, and started swatching up a bunch of things and trying some of the ideas on for size. I then spent the next few days after that carrying around my swatches and petting them and showing them to all my knitting friends and thinking ‘gee, this is is cool, why have I neglected this for so many months, creating things from scratch is so damn awesome.’
And then, of course, I get about 4 inches into one project and immediately my self-conscious starts with the questions.
Why did I choose this yarn? Did I buy enough? What if I didn’t get enough? What if I can never find any more of Araucania Ranco PT496 ever again? (Subquestion: why is it called PT496? Surely there must be a real name? Why does said real name fail to appear on the label?) Why the hell did I have to start these as knee socks anyway? Regular short socks would never be causing me these problems, right? And for that matter why can I no longer do math? Why have I mis-counted the # of calf stitches approximately five times already? Will I be able to read my pencil scribblings at the end of all of this?
At the moment I am calling on all reserves of stubbornness and choosing to ignore all of these questions until such time as it becomes necessary to face them. Lalalallalaaa. Swatch pretty. Sock good. Unfortunately there is another question flitting around amongst all of the others…
Why didn’t I start in with the sweater idea instead?
I think I’ll start a countdown to weekend happy hour.