Monday night knitting: Advanced Level Techniques

Before attending this particular Monday night knitting Workshop for One, please come having completed the following steps:

1. Cast on new sweater, fully convinced of enormous amounts of time standing between date of cast on and date of actually wishing to wear the completed sweater.

2. Finish sleeves of sweater within a week. Congratulate self on super speediness.

3. Cast on for back of sweater, complete ribbing.

4. Allow sweater to stagnate for a full two weeks with no active knitting whatsoever. Return to sweater, experience astonishment that it has not in fact been knitting itself while tucked away inside project bag.

5. Experience panic over rapidly approaching date of actually wishing to wear the completed sweater.

Ready? Okay. Now you’re ready to proceed as follows:

6. Consume a full glass of wine.

7. Merrily return to sweater knitting, confident of being able to proceed speedily on back piece of sweater all evening long.

8. Discover that proceeding requires placing an “establishing” row of cables, including several charts.

9. Experience deep confusion wondering why your knitting does not seem to match establishing row instructions. Recall that since you are modifying for length, your hip shaping decreases have not begun yet and thus your establishing row is at least 6 sts off from original pattern instructions.

10. Write out establishing row instructions by hand.

11. Knit the establishing row.

12. Re-knit establishing row.

13. Double-check completed establishing row three more times.

14. In absence of visible remaining errors, continue knitting.

15. Consume second glass of wine to celebrate.

16. The following morning, resume sweater knitting as transit knitting, silently and personally celebrating completion of Advanced Level Knitting Technique: Drunken Cable Placement.

Cassidy - back progress

Cheers, I say. Cheers.


  1. Ha, ha, ha! I see we went to the same knitting class. I was the one with the battery-operated cork screw. Cheers, indeed!

  2. Yeah – for drunken knitting! And what a lovely looking sweater that is.

  3. barefootrooster · ·

    nicely done. i’m not ready to take the advanced workshop!

  4. laughed for 10 minutes before I could type again !!! The only way to knit!

  5. haha, love it!! Drunken Cable Placement- coming soon to a knit class near you.

  6. Friends don’t let friends knit drunk. No, wait, that isn’t it. Friends don’t let friends knit drunk *alone*.

    I’m working on drunken lace, who’s in?

  7. You do realize you’re the luckiest knitter on the planet, right? Anything I knit after two glasses of wine would look rather like the webs spiders weave on LSD. 😉 Granted, I don’t really *ever* drink two glasses of wine in a row, let alone attempt to do anything useful if I *were* to do so….

    Sweater is coming along nicely! Pretty, pretty blue!

  8. I think I have to start drinking while I knit…your “drunken cables and knitting” are far superior to my “sober” ones! Cheers!

  9. Hehehe,,, cheers!

  10. Nice! It definitely sounds like the wine helped. 🙂

  11. Nice knitting! What kind of wine was that? I could use some for a lift on my own projects.

  12. This post pleases me greatly.

  13. Well done. Such drunken knitting skill!

  14. Lordy woman what were you thinking??? Kudos for getting it all sorted while at less than full knitting power!

  15. Never underestimate the powers of wine…

  16. I used this advanced technique (drunken cable placement) for the second of my Viper Socks. The cables turned out better than they had on the first (sober!) sock!

  17. Still looks good to me. Love the color!

  18. Ah, the lubricating power of liquid courage on knitting needles. Beautiful knitting, such beautiful knitting, you are a very talented lady!

  19. *hic!* Nicely done.

  20. Nothing short of astounding! (at least in my universe)
    And absolutely gorgeous…Lady you have far more nerve than I do!

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